Moon Zappa's Hit Song was Hilarious. Her Life at the Time? Far From It.
Also: mental health benefits of genealogy and secret Trader Joe's snacks
Moon Zappa on family trauma, neglect, and building a self
My guest on the podcast this week is Moon Zappa, eldest child of the iconic musician Frank Zappa and his wife Gail, voice behind the cultural moment known as “Valley Girl”.
As I tell Moon, I had heard of her even before she was heard in the 1982 song “Valley Girl” that became the highest charting signal of Frank’s Hall of Fame career. That’s because even as a very young kid, word got around - internetlessly - that the eccentric musician Frank Zappa named his daughter Moon Unit and then named his son Dweezil. And it was kind of scoffed at but everyone just assumed that they were a fine, if non-traditional family.
Moon Zappa is the author of a new memoir, Earth to Moon. As adult Moon tells it, though, things weren’t fine at all. There were groupies living in the basement who Frank was sleeping with. There was complete neglect from both parents, and there was a malignant narcissism with Gail that steadily tore the family apart over the course of a lifetime. There was Frank telling Moon, a young child at the time, to hide a gun because Gail was mad, and Moon didn’t even know they owned a gun. Even after both parents had died, there was an uneven, perhaps vindictive, distribution of the state that has left Moon and her three siblings pretty alienated from one another.
My conversation with Moon was painful at times but also inspiring. She has had to build a life for herself while teaching herself how to do so, painstakingly recognizing the harm that occurred, and ultimately building a better life for her own daughter.
We can’t choose our parents (even though Gail had told Moon that Moon had chosen hers before birth so, in a sense, “you asked for it”) but we can choose the actions and behaviors we take as adults. To do that in a constructive way, however, means getting a full accounting of all that happened. That’s what Moon has done. This is one of my favorite interviews we’ve done in a while.
We understand the connection between mental and physical health, we just suck at doing something about it
Dr. Helen Ouyang, an emergency room physician, writes in the New York Times about the disconnect happening in modern medicine. We know, more than ever, that someone’s mental health has a big effect on their physical health, the research on this building all the time to the point of being more or less resounding.
Psychological disorders such as stress, depression and loneliness are now known to be associated with impaired immune defenses, leading to increased infections and weakened responses to vaccines. Chronic stress can disrupt our gut function, slow our wound healing and age our cells.
But the way doctors are handling that is pretty backward-looking.
Even when primary care providers screen for early signs of depression and anxiety, they often lack the training, resources and time to address what they might uncover. I feel the same in the E.R., where, again and again, I am at a loss about where to send people for mental health care. Who is accepting new patients — without requiring them to pay substantial money out of pocket?
Reimbursements around mental health are particularly low and come with significant administrative burdens, which discourages providers from taking insurance. This leaves patients with few options for their behavioral health care. While the federal mental health parity law prohibits insurers from charging higher co-pays for behavioral health visits than they do for other conditions, insurers can put up other barriers such as excluding certain diagnoses or managing the number of therapy sessions. The result is a system that too often fails to handle brewing mental health problems until they’ve already taken a physical toll.
Looking into your family history can help your mental health
I always say it’s better to have more information than less and that goes for genealogy too. Katherine Wang writing for the BBC says there’s research pointing to people who have studied their family tree having better mental health results.
Moore has conducted and analysed of a survey of almost 1,000 Australian hobbyist genealogists to explore the psychosocial drivers behind researching family history. She found that engaging in ancestry research often leads to people feeling more in control of their lives and experiencing a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world – including gratitude for the struggles their predecessors faced on behalf of their children.
Other studies, too, show that younger people's knowledge of family history contributes to a developing sense of self. And that it can be a useful clinical indicator of psychological wellbeing and have a positive impact in clinical and educational settings.
I would only add that sometimes it might work the other way, in the event you study your family tree and discover some names and connections and lineage that was not what you were expecting.
There are snacks at Trader Joe’s that only women can see
Rhett Miller on Sleeping with Celebrities
The very handsome man tells us all about disc golf. Not Frisbee golf. Certainly not Frolf.
Music fans know Rhett Miller as the lead singer of Old 97’s, a beloved band that has released 13 studio bang-up albums over the last 30 years, including 2024’s American Primitive. Disc golf players, of which Rhett is a dedicated one, think of him as a disc golfer, which he is, as I just said. Besides, they’re too busy getting annoyed at people calling it Frisbee golf. In this soothing, beddy-bye interview, Rhett walks us through the sport, and also explains why Wikipedia lists five Old 97’s band members. The fifth member? Fred Armisen. Although Rhett’s explanation is quite amusing, don’t worry. You’ll still be asleep by the final hole. Well, not a hole so much as a basket, of course.
John, I appreciate SO much all you do for us. This interview is also one of my favorites of yours. I find it interesting to see how kiddos who grew up in the '70's turned out as adults. Kudos to Moon for sharing and making the best of an extremely difficult upbringing.
Well... That was unexpected. I doubt Moon will ever see this but... Thank you for this interview!! (I already have the book on hold.)
John Moe - If there's anyway to pass on this message, please do. No response required, but I'd love for her to hear it.
There was SO much about your story that resonated with my experience. My whole childhood was about supporting my Mother's career. I couldn't wait to grow up and work, because being a child and "not contributing" was the worst thing... "Earth to Joni" was a very common phrase... Right next to "Suck it Up Buttercup"...
I wish I could tell you that you've inspired me to finally get off my ass and face my dissociation... Because checking out doesn't work... And I can't change anything about my past, but maybe I can do something about my future... So I need to make the effort to find the right Dr and stop masking.
Thank you for sharing this... You really didn't have to and I'm sure there will be less-than-posivie aspects.... But you're already helping people. And you should know that for those darker days. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I'm wishing you peace and every happiness.❤️❤️