Unprocessed Trauma, Processed Fufer and Greenrry Pans
Plus, getting therapy while you get your hair done AND Ned Ryerson
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Roxane Gay on the podcast
My guest on Depresh Mode this week is Roxane Gay.
Here’s a thing: it’s intimidating to know that you’re going to be interviewing Roxane Gay because she is super smart. I suspect she doesn’t suffer fools gladly and, being a part-time fool myself, this made me nervous.
Here’s another thing: she is succinct. Often in interviews, I’ll ask a question and the subject will launch off into a long answer that goes all over the place for several minutes before they end up asking me what the question was again. Not so with Ms. Gay who answers the question that was asked and then politely waits for the next question. Which meant I had to be on my goddamn toes even more than I usually am.
We talked about a lot of things but we tended to return to the subject of trauma. In prepping for this interview, I noticed that she was often talking about the cumulative trauma of the pandemic and how we hadn’t really dealt with it. Not really. So I talked with her about that in our interview too because I share the same opinion: well over a million Americans died from covid-19 and are still dying but then after a while we were asked to simply return to the world. There has been no period of mourning, no massive memorial service, no monuments built. It’s unprocessed trauma, which is going to make us screwed up going forward. Roxane sees a lot of unprocessed trauma in experiencing four years of the Trump administration as well.
West African hairdressers are being trained as counselors
Well, that’s just smart is what that is.
The nation of Togo has a grand total of five psychiatrists, who are over-extended and not always trusted. But people feel more comfortable talking to the person who does their hair.
From the NYT:
Ms. de Lima, a single mother who was grieving the recent death of her brother and had lost her job at a bakery, knew she needed help. But therapy was out of the question. “Too formal and expensive,” she recalled thinking.
Help came instead from an unexpected counselor: Ms. de Lima’s hairdresser, who had noticed her erratic walks in the neighborhood and provided a safe space to share her struggles amid the curly wigs hanging from colorful shelves and the bright neon lights of her small salon in Lomé, Togo’s capital.
The hairdresser, Tele da Silveira, is one of about 150 women who have received mental health training in West and Central African cities from a nonprofit trying to fill a critical gap: provide mental health care in one of the world’s poorest regions, where counseling remains barely accessible, let alone accepted.
Narrative therapy for maternal mental health treatment
Psychology Today has an interesting article about using a narrative approach to counseling.
Reflecting on her work with women struggling, Jessica relayed a powerful process. "When I was working with someone," she began, "I'd type along as they told me their story." At the end of the session, she would debrief with the patient and provide coping mechanisms if required after revisiting something so difficult. The previous session was reviewed at the start of each new session, and material could be added or changed based on what the woman thought about in between. Jessica likened this process to desensitization, each session allowing the woman to return to her experience a bit more and further digest and integrate it.
I don’t have any first hand knowledge of things like postpartum depression but I have written a memoir and it was one of the most enlightening experiences I’ve ever had. Just to approach my life in chronological order, telling the events, reflecting on what those events meant and why I was choosing to include them, that was incredibly eye-opening. It let me process a lot of what happened.
It’s! important! to! process! things!
Please pass the grasted potinos
There are all sorts of reasons to fear and despise AI. But until our mindless replacements kick in the door and drag me away to the nutrient farms, I will continue to enjoy the work of AI Weirdness. Janelle Shane experiments with what AI engines can do and often finds that they come close but can’t quite think like people. I find this reassuring.
Here are some Thanksgiving feasts generated by AI:
Often, the AI gets something almost right or even, like with pumpkin pie, dead on. Other times it’s just confusing:
What are Sniffs? And can I please not have any Pisrring?
On Sleeping with Celebrities: Stephen Tobolowsky
One of the greatest character actors of our time is here to put you to bed.
Any biography of Stephen Tobolowsky must mention, and possibly right at the beginning, his performance as Ned Ryerson, the annoying insurance salesman in Groundhog Day. But that’s far from the only big credit in Stephen’s IMDb page, which also includes films like Memento and Thelma & Louise. Long before he was the hugely successful actor he is today, Stephen was just another guy trying to get by in New York and that’s where he met The Most Boring Man in the World, working the afternoon shift at a local bar. Stephen fills us in on that experience in a conversation that will amuse you, delight you, and put you to sleep. We also hear about Stephen’s long ramble through New York whilst escaping a tryst he did not care to join.