THE WORLD IS DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW AND CERTAINLY IN THE UNITED STATES. But I’m here to tell you: It’s not you. It’s not you. You might think you’re going - and I want to use precise mental health language here - banana bonkers all on your own but I am here to suggest that it’s not you. It’s them, it’s it, it’s the rest of them.
The President of the United States says to not let COVID-19 dominate your life as he shuttles by helicopter to and from Walter Reed where he had his own private ward and the best medical care conceivable. Unlike you, me, and everyone we’re ever likely to speak to politely. And he stands Mussolini/Evita-like (choose your own... uh... politician there) on a White House balcony gasping for air. Meanwhile, the virus is picking up steam and the death count is high.
You and I are in that moment. We watch CNN or read Twitter and we feel like we’re not in reality because how could things be this way and still be the world we thought we once knew? We do the mental equivalent of what baseball players do when they fail to catch a ball or tennis players when they miss a return. Like, is there something wrong with my gear? My glove/racket/brain? Are my strings tight enough?
I submit that you are and that it’s them, not you. It’s them, pretty friend.
Not
but
.
When you stop by a convenience store and customers are unmasked as they gather energy drinks and Ding-Dongs, toting them up to the unmasked cashier, it can create huge dissonance because part of you thinks, “Why aren’t they doing the thing that will make themselves and others NOT DIE?” Your fight or flight instinct kicks in (quickly punch them and run away?) and you spend extra brain energy trying to match the common sense you know with the dumbheads before you. And it makes you tired! As so many things do!
It’s them. Not you. Them. They are the discord. And they spread that discord to you like some kind of, you know, virus.
Friends, if you happen to have a mental disorder anyway, you’ve already been spending time trying to find the actual world among your various distortions ALREADY. Trying to see past the catastrophizing and the black-and-white thinking and all the rest to try to get to a place that makes sense. You’ve already been trying to find a needle in a brainstack. Then the unmasked turds are doing their thing and the president is saying his nonsense and everyone’s talking about it and it becomes SO MUCH HARDER to find reality.
So be kind to yourself and recognize the struggle.
But know it’s not you. It’s them. They’re kookoopants. You’re just trying to get through the day and you’re beautiful and good job.
Because: fuck, man.
Speaking of musical theater (and aren’t we all, constantly, if we’re being honest) the youngs on the TicTox, they have it dialed in. Good job, youngs. Here is a thread of joy.
Staying up on things? Good idea. Responsible. And necessary.
Doomscrolling? Maybe not so great.
We found that social media use was rewarding up to a point, as it provided informational, emotional and peer support related to COVID-19 health topics,” said Bu Zhong, associate professor of journalism, Penn State. “However, excessive use of social media led to mental health issues. The results imply that taking a social media break may promote well-being during the pandemic, which is crucial to mitigating mental health harm inflicted by the pandemic.
I wanted an image to go with the term “doomscrolling” and the first thing that came to mind was the old videogame Doom II. Not the original Doom or any sequels that certainly must look a lot better than the one I used to play on the first PC I owned back in the mid-90s. I bought that computer from my friend Joe and I think it ran Windows 3.1, lacking sufficient memory to ever upgrade to Windows 95.
But it did have and could run Doom II, Joe had installed that, and I played it all the way through a few times. It occurs to me today as I write this what an apt metaphor Doom II is for both depression and for the COVID era, that’s an era wherein, as previously stated, it’s not you, it’s them.
It’s not you.
It’s Them.
Depression - You are in a dungeon that logically should have some sort of door leading you out to a healthier, safer place, but you just can’t seem to find it. You are constantly beset by monsters that you must find a way to destroy perfectly in order to simply exist. It’s dark.
COVID - Something deadly is likely to pop out at any second that could kill you. None of the monsters are concerned about safety and they don’t wear masks. What did you do to get yourself into this situation, in a labyrinth full of roaring attackers? Nothing. You did nothing. You’re just there and your previous decisions had nothing to do with it. Your virtue or intentions don’t matter, just try to stay alive.
Crows can ponder the contents of their own mind.
Welcome to your minds, crows! Many of us hairless apes are having a hard time with our won! Good luck! We’re counting on you!
The birds were aware of what they subjectively perceived, flash or no flash, correctly reporting what their sensory neurons recorded, Nieder told STAT. “I think it demonstrates convincingly that crows and probably other advanced birds have sensory awareness, in the sense that they have specific subjective experiences that they can communicate,” he said. “Besides crows, this kind of neurobiological evidence for sensory consciousness only exists in humans and macaque monkeys.”
I have been dive bombed by crows when walking past their nests so I know they have some smarts.
I also heard one cawing loudly outside my house once but the cawing stopped at the same time I heard a brief electrical sound and we lost power. I called the power company and told them the neighbors’ lights were all on.
“No blackouts in your area,” the guy said. “But let me ask you this: if you go outside, is there a dead crow on the ground.
I went out. Yep. There was. “Pecked too long at the wrong thing. We’ll send someone.”
So not THAT smart.
Via kottke.org