Holidays Are Here. Go to Two Therapists.
Also: horrid fiction, heroic play-by-play, Grinch meat, seated Vedder
If this enterprise can’t raise enough money from listeners/readers, I swear to God, I’ll turn this show around. And we’ll never get to Grandma’s. If you’ve already donated, thank you. If not, go here, pick a level that works for you, then select DEPRESH MODE from the list of shows. And thank you.
Hey, some of us need some help to tackle this whole holidays thing
Maybe you are one of us. I mean, hell, you’re reading this newsletter while all the normies go out and, I don’t know, snap towels at each other and rent Jet Skis or something.
We’re the people for whom the holidays can be a difficult time. Off the top of my head:
The mounting stress of getting the perfect presents in the right amount for your people
Busy schedule, often involving seeing a lot of people
EVERY FAMILY ISSUE BURIED UNDER A PATINA OF MERRIMENT
It is cold
Self-hatred for not having all the merry and jolly you’re supposed to have
Friggin’ MONEY and how to afford all this stuff that’s supposed to bring you merry and jolly but doesn’t so why the hell are you doing it in the first place?
It’s a thing. Christmas, holidays, it’s a whole goddamn thing. Scrooge and Grinch were on to something. And then the big eastern syndicates turned them into puppets for their ho ho ho purposes.
Trivia tidbit: did you know that the “roast beast” the Whos down in Whoville ate for their feast was ANOTHER NEARBY GRINCH? It’s just a theory but I’m right. And then they made the current Grinch participate in the grim cannibalistic play?
THE WHOS ARE SICKOS.
Anyway, where was I?
Ah yes. I host a podcast. And this week on Depresh Mode, we figure it’s time to talk to a therapist to strategize this whole holiday thing. In fact, it’s time to talk to two of them.
Dr. Ksera Dyette talks about strategy come holiday time and how to protect yourself from toxic or problematic family members as you head into those visits. Megan Devine takes on the subject of grief and she has some notes of constructive criticism on the option of “I’ll just get super drunk and feel nothing.”
Pandemic stress falls most on mothers who… are better off?
Some new research from JAMA, reported in The Hill, indicates that the mental health toll of the pandemic was rougher on mothers of privilege than among poorer and minority women.
Higher pandemic-associated hardships, coping mechanisms, and behavior changes were linked with greater significant symptoms of pandemic-associated traumatic stress in mothers from a diverse set of racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic backgrounds, researchers explained in JAMA Network Open.
11,000 women were surveyed and 8000 of them reported experiencing major disruptions. But most of these women had higher income, more education, and most of them were white. Women reporting fewer disruptions had lower income, less education, and were Black and Native American.
Lower income workers or essential workers may not have the privilege of working remotely or staying away from other household members, the authors added, meaning they could have experienced less change in daily life when the pandemic
…
Among the two groups analyzed — those that experienced high levels of pandemic-related disruption and those who reported much less change — mothers who reported the greatest change experienced more symptoms of traumatic stress. Social isolation and COVID-19’s impact on health care had the largest associations with increased stress symptoms, data showed.
Overall, a significant proportion of mothers experienced symptoms of acute stress disorder throughout the pandemic. Some who go on to develop the disorder may also develop post-traumatic stress disorder.
I mean, it’s probably good to know
Psychology Today has an article about five warning signs that your romantic partner is a psychopath. Not included in the list: a t-shirt that says “Psychopaths Make Better Lovers”. But you should be able to handle that red flag on your own.
All the items listed are things to notice in oneself that indicate your significant other is bad news.
2. Biological Consequences
Survivors experienced a range of somatic complaints, including gastrointestinal problems, ulcers, and headaches. Consider the repercussions as described by a participant:
“I had a substantial amount of weight loss. I would gag when I would try to eat. Initially my hair did not grow. My hair fell out and is coming in gray. My nails would not grow. I would be completely dehydrated. I developed a bleeding ulcer. I would not eat sometimes for days.”
Argentina won the World Cup and this will make you happy for that:
The shark-infested waters of literature
I’m in the midst of attempting to write a novel. It is very, very difficult. And it’s unnerving when I see the winners of the annual Bulwer-Lytton prize for the worst opening lines in fiction. It’s named for Edward Bulwer-Lytton, author of the classic - and Snoopy favorite - “It was a dark and stormy night.”
This year’s champion:
I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn't help—I was fresh out of salami.
John Farmer, Aurora, CO